Deborah Secco She was married twice and had several relationships in the public eye. However, all these relationships came to an end, and today the actress understands that it is because she reflected a childhood need in her partners. In an interview with Tight SkirtMaria Flor’s mother confessed that she looked for the same pattern in men that she saw in her own father, of indifference and abandonment.

At first, Deborah analyzed that she had different endings comparing her two marriages. In 1997, she walked down the aisle with the director Rogério Gomesand the two stayed together until 2001. Afterwards, the eight-year relationship with Hugo Moura also came to an end.

“I think I had such different separations. I can’t even create a method. I think I’m a person who really changes a lot, and one didn’t have anything even a little bit similar to the other. Different feelings, different ‘Deborahs’ , different ruptures”, he observed.

“Haven’t you ever repeated a pattern?” asked Eliana. “Never. I realized that here, listening to you”, he stated. “Have you never repeated the same mistakes from past relationships?” insisted the mediator.

Immediately, Deborah realized that she had been looking for the same thing in relationships for years. “I think, perhaps, in relationships, yes. But the endings were completely different. For a few years, I repeated a specific pattern, which is the hole left by my father”, he said.

“After many years of analysis, I discovered that I was looking for a parent pattern. After a long time talking about it, studying about it, I started looking for different patterns, breaking these patterns. Then I think I started looking for very different people, but very really different”, he added.

The actress did not want to give details so as not to expose her own father, but her relationship with him was permeated by abandonment. “My father and mother separated, and I felt, at some point there, abandoned by him. So, I looked for the pattern of the man who would abandon me, the man I should fight hard to win, that man who in fact didn’t wanted me, who didn’t choose me”, he said.

“That was the pattern I repeated for a long time, because my child was still abandoned,” she lamented. “Now, in every relationship I revisit this child today and say: ‘Is it your pain that I’m feeling? Is it because of you that I’m going after this guy?'”, he pondered.

Eliana questioned whether she had discovered an antidote to overcome the pain caused so many years ago. “Today I learned my best antidote, which is to fall back in love with myself. I make a list of the best things about myself, what I need to be proud of, where I was and where I am. Really choosing myself”, he explained.

“I wasn’t chosen many times. I was betrayed many times, I was hurt many times, in all my relationships I was not chosen. [Eu tenho que] knowing that the person who will choose me is me. I can’t put this responsibility on anyone else. It’s for me and for me”, he declared.

Still, Deborah reaffirmed that she believes in love, and wants to love again. “I believe that I will find a person who won’t make mistakes with me. But I don’t need that to be happy. If that comes, it will be great, but if it doesn’t come, I will also be happy. Loving myself, choosing myself, trying not to make mistakes with me”, he concluded.