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TAKING CARE OF FEELINGS
See the importance of giving space to sadness
This emotion has a lot to say about the deep needs of our being and what really matters in life.
Published on October 22, 2024 at 11:00
Sadness warns us that we don’t know how to deal with a situation Credit: Image: Mary Long | Shutterstock
Something happens. Love ends. Death arrives. The disease catches us. Peace goes away. And sadness sets in. The indigo sky, for us, is faded. Where has the grace of the world gone? And that tear in the chest? When are you going to patch up?
Sadness is a nosy visitor. He appears whenever he pleases, without consulting us, and has no set date for leaving. From time to time, she simply rings the doorbell. It’s inevitable. Of course it makes you want to ignore the “blim-blom”.
It is not pleasant to feel sad. Even more so in a society that exalts happiness, as if it could be permanent. However, as costly as they may be, the gray states of the soul have a role to play in our emotional maturation. Instead of rejecting them, better understand them.
Brain functioning in sadness
Let’s see what happens in the brain when something saddens us. The levels of neurotransmitters, such as serotonin and dopamine, which, among other functions, cause a feeling of well-being and pleasure, decrease. This reduction affects the limbic system, an area of the brain associated with emotions, especially the amygdala, causing feelings of sadness and even hopelessness.
We can even experience this emotion so overwhelmingly that we believe we will never feel joy again. “By affecting the level of neurotransmitters, sadness also influences our perception of time and reality. When we are sad, our brain tends to have a more negative bias towards our life, contributing to a vicious circle of pessimistic and hopeless thoughts. This makes moments of sadness often seem endless”, explains Paula Roosch, specialist in socio-emotional intelligence, founder of Midiamor and columnist for Vida Simples.
The pain is real, but temporary. Especially if we approach it like someone offering a hug to a wounded animal. If we translate your lament, we will be able to provide the necessary care for your recovery.
“Sadness is a signal warning us that we are not knowing how to deal with a situation very well and that we need time to understand what is happening in our internal world, to find a resource, a path, a solution”, says the psychologist Jungian Jussara Reis. In this way, we are able to redirect our energy, avoiding stagnation and illness.
What is essential
Messenger of deep parts of the soul, especially when we go through thorny parts of the journey, it comes to remind us of very important things. For example, the value and meaning of something or someone in our life. It still shows us clearly what our difficulties, insecurities and fears are at that moment, as well as the reality of the human condition, which equates us as beings immersed in the imponderable.
“It tells us the extent of our impotence in the face of facts that we do not want to experience, how much we have no control over what we do not want to lose and how sensitive, fragile, vulnerable we are in the face of what we cannot maintain or achieve”, points out Jussara.
It’s impactful, without a doubt. However, sad experiences refine our relationship with life, because the “shells” of certain defenses that keep us away from what we truly feel are detached from our skin. “With each sad experience we overcome, we become more human, more empathetic with what happens around us, and more resilient”, highlights the psychologist.
It would be a tremendous waste to close the door in the face of sadness Credit: Image: Angelina Bambina | Shutterstock
Invitation to the collection
Paula echoes: “Probably your deepest learnings came during periods of great suffering and regret, which led you to give new meaning to your worldview and even your identity beliefs.” According to the expert, when sadness is not repressed and ignored, it lowers body energy, invites us to withdraw and becomes an opportunity to rethink limits, needs, values and choices.
Therefore, it would be a tremendous waste to close the door in this visitor’s face, don’t you think? It’s wiser to see unpleasantness as chances to evolve and become aware of what we really need to be well. Preferably without pressure, judgment or condemnation. “We are not perfect, we do not have all the answers, and, in the process of life, everyone has their own time, their own rhythm to deal with their weaknesses and migrate to a condition in which they feel more strengthened”, ponders Jussara.
A transitional state
The psychologist emphasizes that sadness is a transitory state, despite presenting different levels in each person, according to their personality and the way they deal with the issues that triggered the grief. The alert should sound when melancholy continues and is accompanied by a lack of energy, desire, and desire to carry out tasks that were previously pleasurable.
Added to this is loss of appetite, altered sleep and memory failures, with obvious impairment of usual activities. A depressive state can be identified here that needs to be treated very carefully. Asking for help from a qualified professional and seeking support from our network is essential.
If, on the one hand, we are dejected in the face of what bothers us, on the other, we keep tools within us that are at the service of transformation. The internal world is more creative than we imagine. When we are in a state of emotional pain, one that leaves us more quiet, reserved, without energy for calls from outside, we become closer to ourselves. We reduce the sound of people and external stimuli and start to hear our own voices more.
By listening to our soul, we begin a dialogue with it. Then, a story starts to be told, the story of that pain, that disappointment, that loss, that conflict, that anguish. “When this story is expressed, we become aware of what happened to us, we analyze the situation better by focusing on the details that emerge, we integrate the meanings and work within ourselves to conclude this story. What outcome do we really want for our lives?” asks Jussara.
gesture of love
We can use artistic expressions as a therapeutic resource, anything that resonates with our sensitivity, such as painting, collage, poems, singing, dancing and so on. Welcoming the gray periods without rushing for answers and a lot of respect for ourselves, for our process, is a gesture of love.
The creative energy that nourishes our psyche gives us, in time, the conditions to deal with pain, alleviate it and find ways to feel energetic, good humor, pleasure and joy again.
“You are not your sadness or an emotion… you are. Up close, the situation may seem confusing, meaningless, like a piece that doesn’t fit anywhere. Later on, you will be able to visualize it in the immense and mysterious puzzle of life”, encourages Paula. May sadness visit our “home”, leave its teachings and continue on your journey.
By Raphaela de Campos Mello – Vida Simples magazine
He is a journalist and, among all the characters in the film Inside Out, he sympathizes with sadness, because she has a compassionate heart.
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